GAMING NEWS ROUNDUP: UBISOFT SAVES DRUNK PIRATES WHILE MEDIA COMPANIES SHOW THEIR TRUE COLORS

This post contains affiliate links. We may earn a commission if you make a purchase through these links at no additional cost to you.

Ubisoft Confirms Black Flag Resynced Won't Kill the Fun

Assassin's Creed Black Flag Resynced will keep Edward Kenway's drunken stumble animations during loading screens. Fans panicked after a confusing Ubisoft social media post suggested the feature might get axed, but the publisher quickly clarified the beloved detail stays put.

The Take: Thank god. The drunk loading screen is peak gaming charm. It's the little touches like this that separate memorable games from corporate committee products. If Ubisoft started sanitizing every fun detail, they'd lose what little soul their games have left.

TheGamer Goes Full Dystopia With Pay-Per-Click Model

Valnet, already notorious for treating writers like garbage, just announced TheGamer editors and writers will only get paid if their articles hit specific view thresholds. No clicks? No money. It's the gig economy's worst nightmare applied to game journalism.

The Take: This is what happens when venture capital vultures buy gaming sites. Writers already get paid peanuts, now they're not even guaranteed those peanuts. Expect to see more clickbait trash and fewer thoughtful pieces. Quality journalism dies when accountants run the show.

Fan Translators Tackle Kowloon's Gate After Two Decades

Hilltop Works announced they're fan-translating Kowloon's Gate, the legendary four-disc PlayStation mystery game that never left Japan. This claustrophobic reality-bender has been on import wishlists for 20 years.

The Take: Fan translators are gaming's unsung heroes. While publishers sit on gold mines, passionate fans do the work for free. Kowloon's Gate is pure nightmare fuel in the best way possible. If you've never experienced Japanese psychological horror, this is your chance.

Steam Controller's Charger Nearly Burns Down House

A Steam Controller owner reported their "drop-in" charging dock almost started a fire. The dock apparently overheated to dangerous levels, creating a genuine safety hazard.

The Take: Valve discontinued the Steam Controller years ago, but apparently forgot to tell the charging docks to stop trying to kill people. Check your old gaming gear folks. That random adapter collecting dust might be plotting arson.

Reload complete. Feed your brain.